Openness and Adoption
with Guest Expert Toni Williams, manager of minority adoption programs at Spence-ChapinGuest: What is open adoption?
Toni: It's when birth and adoptive parents have a relationship with one another.
Guest: My daughter is 16 now, and I'm not sure how I would feel if I knew the birth parents.
Toni: You'd probably have felt differently if it started out open. What does your daughter know about her adoption?
Guest: She knows that she was adopted and where she was born. We don't know very much so we can't tell her a lot. She's known since she was very young.
Toni: Perfect! Actually, the families involved in adoption decide what kind of relationships they want to have. Nowadays, agencies work hard to give families lots of information.
Guest: Why?
Toni: So that you (adoptive parents) will know as much as you can initially to decide if this child is the right one for you... Then to share with your child later.
Guest: Our daughter hasn't asked a lot, but I wish I had the info if she asked, but we always wanted her.
Toni: Can you go back to the agency now and get more info?
Guest: This was a private adoption. My gyn set up people who wanted a baby with a girl who wanted to put the child up for adoption.
Toni: I see. So, there's no longer anyone to get answers from?
Guest: I don't think so, but maybe we should wait until our daughter wants info? How does the law see the freedom of info in case like this?
Toni: We've found that kids think about adoption whether or not they discuss it with their parents. It may be interesting to bring up the subject and ask her what she thinks.
Guest: Why ask her?
Toni: Well, you know your daughter best. But you may just ask her whether she ever thinks about adoption and if so, what are her thoughts.
Guest: Maybe I don't want to know?
Host: Carolyn, basically, there are no states that will release info until an adoptee reaches adulthood, and even then, most states have sealed adoption records. This is quite different than open adoption where the relationship develops earlier.
Toni: True. Openness is negotiated between birth and adoptive parents during the adoption process. The families share identifying information (eg, names, addresses, emails, etc) then they carve out what their relationship will be.
Page 1: Opening RemarksPage 2: What is Open Adoption? Page 3: Contacting BirthdadPage 4: Getting Medical Info from BirthdadPage 5: How Does an Agency Work With Expectant Moms?
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